Postmodern Prophet

Thoughts on Todays Prop 8 Decision

2012-02-07T19:56:00.000-08:00

I only got about 25% of the way through the 9th circuit court of appeals decision to uphold the lower courts decision that prop 8 in unconstitutional but you can read the whole thing HERE. It was a busy day but I never would have thought that I'd actually be intrigued enough by a court case to actually read a legal decision so even reading 1/4 of it is impressive!

I don't feel the need to write a big long post but I did have thoughts swirling around this little head of mine that I wanted to get out.

1) I think most everyone assumed the 9th circuit would uphold the decision of prop 8 being unconstitutional. No surprise there. But how they wrote their opinion is very interesting. Its very narrow and they essentially wrote it in a way that it pretty much only applies to a state where marriage was legal and then taken away. So far that's just CA (maybe NH but its not looking likely). What this means is that if SCOTUS takes up the case it will not force gay marriage on all 50 states (contrary to what the conservative religious "family" associations are saying). I think that's good and bad. Its bad in that if we win it doesn't advance equality everywhere (atleast not directly) but its good in that I still don't know how SCOTUS will rule and I think the narrowness of this decision increases the likelihood that SCOTUS will agree with the 9th circuit.

2) GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum tweeted “7M Californians had their rights stripped away today by activist 9th Circuit judges. As president I will work to protect marriage.” My prior observation of the definition of an activist judge still stands: a court making a decision you don't agree with. Using the term "activist" lacks any real meaning. Further, I heard others use the "7 million Californians..." today. While 7 million did indeed vote for Prop 8, 6.4 million Californians also voted against it. They never bring up that fact. Why? Because social conservatives are not interested in Truth, only spinning partial truths to get their way. I have zero respect for Rick Santorum. Like he is actually concerned with "rights being stripped away." Please.

3) Social conservatives have been outraged that a gay judge in a relationship presided over the prop 8 trial and found prop 8 unconstitutional. In the purest example of their bias towards gay people, they appealed his decision on the ground that a gay judge cannot be unbiased from the bench and therefore his ruiling should be vacated. I wonder if these same social conservatives will also bemoan the fact that the loan dissenter among the appeals court judges who heard the appeal is a Mormon? Surely he cannot be unbiased when reviewing a case that his Mormon church funded and lead! He should have recused himself. Right?

4) I long for the day when this is all over and the law treats my relationship equally. This is stressful. I sometimes (selfishly) wish I could go back to the days when I viewed the world as a white, straight, Christian male. Being the majority was easy and it was fun looking down my nose at everyone else. Yet I know I can never go back there. I see the types of things social conservative religious people says and do and its disgusting to me. Still, no law will keep me from getting married this summer in the eyes of God and my family and friends. And how i'm starting to approach this whole thing is that i've just got to work on my relationship with my fiance. At the end of the night its just me and him, no matter what any person, court or law says. And thats the most important thing.

Are Charter Schools Public

2012-02-06T14:07:00.000-08:00

Not according to proposed "regulations" by the good ol federal government... The Internal Revenue Service recently issued a Proposed Regulation titled “Determination of Government Plan Status.” This regulation would force states to prohibit charter school teachers from participating in state retirement plans.

That's right. We don't charge tuition, we take the same jacked up students that any other public school would serve and no for some reason the government is trying to ban us from being able to participate in the pension program. Charter schools are some of the fastest growing in the country. Why would our government want to discourage that by taking away a big perk for no justifiable cause? I'll tell you who's behind this... the unions. They hate charter schools because we're not unionized and we're innovative. And what about states rights? This is yet another example of the federal governments hand encroaching where it doesn't belong.

If you're a charter school employee or you support parent choice through charter schools or you just like me and don't want me to lose the years i've started building towards my pension, follow the link below to send an email to your representative letting them know this isn't acceptable! Its super easy to do and i'd appreciate it!

http://www.publiccharters.org/Additional-Pages/IRS-Proposed-Regulations.aspx

Wedding Photos

2012-02-03T17:39:00.000-08:00

We finally picked a wedding photographer. Its sort of a big deal because we want someone who can capture our special day in a special way. But finding that right photographer (that was in our budget) was more difficult than I expected because we wanted to find someone that was really and truly OK with filming a gay couple. Thankfully all the stars aligned and we found someone we're happy with. He seemed eager and excited to embark on this new adventure and trying to figure out how to get the shots of a same-sex couple to make it as beautiful as a hetero couple. He also joked that maybe same-sex couples could be his new clientele of choice! During the course of our discussion he asked for some poses we'd like for our upcoming engagement photo shoot. My mind immediately went to the video i've posted below. So I told him I would send him this video with some of the poses The Fiance and I liked.

Love is so sweet! Enjoy!

Question One

2012-02-02T22:03:00.002-08:00

This week I attended the West Coast premiere of the documentary on Maine's Question One which was their public referendum over same-sex marriage in which marriage equality lost 47% to 53%. I followed the campaign with minor interest but didn't realize how similar it was to the Prop 8 battle in California only one year earlier.

It turns out the California based campaign firm that headed the anti-gay marriage Prop 8 battle was also hired for Maine's anti-gay marriage Question 1 side (only in Maine the Catholics instead of the Mormons foot the bill). The documentary showed the same tactic of focusing on the children and declaring that schools will force young kids to accept homosexuality. It brought up all the old anger I had during the Prop 8 campaign of how willing people of faith are to lie to get their way!

The documentary itself was alright. The weakest parts were the editing and some of the scenes which were a little slow. But the film did an excellent job of embedding in the headquarters of both sides of the campaign and giving viewers an insiders look at the motivations and tactics of both sides. I did enjoy watching the documentary in a theater full of marriage equality supporters. It gave the film a sense of realness that these types of ballot questions harm an entire community. Not to mention the energy in the room as people laughed and booed during various parts of the film.

The trailer above is worth the few minutes of your time. I look forward to the day when letting the masses vote on civil rights is a section in the history books and marriage equality is the law of the land.

What She's Been Looking For

2012-01-26T22:03:00.000-08:00

What happens when a married, straight, conservative Christian spends time among a group of gay Christians?

She find's what she's been looking for, and it may not be what you think...

Romney's Tax Return

2012-01-24T18:51:00.000-08:00

GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney released his last two years of tax returns.

In 2010 he and his wife made $21.7 million... and that's without working! His income was mostly from capital gains and dividends. That means that huge amount of money he counted as income was all from the investments he had previous made. His effective tax rate over the past two years was 13.9%. Less than half of what I pay. He pays a lower rate because his income was from "capital gains" and not employment. He also gave away about 14% of his income to charity (albeit much of it went to the corrupt Mormon church). That's higher than the average American.

But here's the thing... It doesn't bother me that much. I'm not going to complain and say how unfair it is. He's a rich bastard. Good for him. I can't fathom making that much money in my lifetime let alone in one year off of my investments! Its a life 99.9% of us will never have. But i'm ok with that. Why should he be punished because he's lucky? I'm not a tax expert but the way I understand it, the money Romney put into the original investments was already taxed at the initial income level. Right? He had to make the money somehow and when it was originally earned it was taxed. So even though capital gains tax is less than an income tax, its almost like a double tax. You're taxed when you earn it and then taxed on the money that money makes. Thats no way to build prosperity...

One beef I do have with this new information is that Romney is not one of us. He was born into money and makes more than most of us can even fathom. According to this USA Today article, he is part of the top 0.006%. He doesn't understand what it means to be middle class or how rising prices can put a pinch in the monthly budget. For him to pretend like he is with the common man or common worker is hypocritical. This is not just a critique on Romney but on our entire political system. You have to have money to win elected office. I'm watching the State of the Union Address as I type this and I look around that chamber and see nothing but rich people. No wonder they are so out of touch with the average American.

Is Change Possible?

2012-01-19T18:24:00.000-08:00

When I was living the Evangelical Lifestyle and claimed to be ex-gay, I truly believed that someday God would change my sexuality. Afterall, God can do anything! When I called myself ex-gay it wasn't that I was no longer attracted to men but rather that I believed the "homosexual lifestyle" was sinful and I didn't think it was right to hold a gay identity. My desires for men may have decreased at times as I focused on other things but they never went away... not even close.

Those who aren't gay yet believe homosexuality is sinful often use the existence of ex-gays as proof that its not mean or discriminatory to be anti-gay because homosexuality is a choice and gays can change if they just turn to Jesus and leave their old ways behind.

Which is why a statement by Alan Chambers, the long time president of Exodus International (the worlds leading and largest ex-gay organization) should be a game changer.

The majority of people that I have met, and I would say the majority meaning 99.9% of them have not experienced a change in their orientation or have gotten to a place where they could say that they could never be tempted or are not tempted in some way or experience some level of same-sex attraction. I think there is a gender issue there, there are some women who have challenged me and said that my orientation or my attractions have changed completely. Those have been few and far between. The vast majority of people that I know will experience some level of same-sex attraction.

Read it again. That's from the leading ex-gay ministry leader. He's admitted in the past that though he is married he is still primarily attracted to men. And when he said these things, he was on stage with three other ex-gay leaders. One was John Smid, a former Exodus board member and director of the worlds largest live-in ex-gay ministry. Awhile back he left the ministry and has since repented for the things he did and said in the name of trying to help people change their sexuality. Another speaker was Wendy Gritter, the director of Canada's largest ex-gay organization which is now less about changing people's orientation and more about building bridges. The final speaker was the leader of an evangelical ex-gay ministry in England that recanted their ways and is no longer ex-gay.

These are not random ministry leaders. These are THE leaders of the modern ex-gay movement and they're all in agreement that our innate sexuality does not change. People need to now stop claiming that it does because claiming this falsehood tears families and lives apart.

Link 1 Link 2 with more coverage of the issue.

Why Gay Parents May Be the Best Parents Pt 2

2012-01-17T21:15:00.000-08:00

Good parenting

Research has shown that the kids ofsame-sex couples — both adopted and biological kids — fare no worse than thekids of straight couples on mental health, social functioning, schoolperformance and a variety of other life-success measures.

In a 2010 review of virtually every studyon gay parenting, New York University sociologist Judith Stacey and Universityof Southern California sociologist Tim Biblarz found no differences betweenchildren raised in homes with two heterosexual parents and children raised withlesbian parents.

"There's no doubt whatsoever fromthe research that children with two lesbian parents are growing up to be justas well-adjusted and successful" as children with a male and a femaleparent," Stacey told LiveScience.

There is very little research on thechildren of gay men, so Stacey and Biblarz couldn't draw conclusions on thosefamilies. But Stacey suspects that gay men "will be the best parents onaverage," she said.

That's a speculation, she said, but iflesbian parents have to really plan to have a child, it's even harder for gaymen. Those who decide to do it are thus likely to be extremely committed,Stacey said. Gay menmay also experience fewer parenting conflicts, she added. Most lesbians usedonor sperm to have a child, so one mother is biological and the other is not,which could create conflict because one mother may feel closer to the kid.

"With gay men, you don't have thatfactor," she said. "Neither of them gets pregnant, neither of thembreast-feeds, so you don't have that asymmetry built into therelationship."

The bottom line, Stacey said, is thatpeople who say children need both a father and a mother in the home aremisrepresenting the research, most of which compares children of single parentsto children of married couples. Two good parents are better than one goodparent, Stacey said, but one good parent is better than two bad parents. Andgender seems to make no difference. While you do find broad differences betweenhow men and women parent on average, she said, there is much more diversitywithin the genders than between them.

"Two heterosexual parents of thesame educational background, class, race and religion are more like each otherin the way they parent than one is like all other women and one is like allother men," she said.

Nurturing tolerance

In fact, the only consistent places youfind differences between how kids of gay parents and kids of straight parentsturn out are in issues of tolerance and open-mindedness, according to Goldberg.In a paper published in 2007 in the American Journal of Orthopsychiatry,Goldberg conducted in-depth interviews with 46 adults with at least one gayparent. Twenty-eight of them spontaneously offered that they felt moreopen-minded and empathetic than people not raised in their situation.

"These individuals feel like theirperspectives on family, on gender, on sexuality have largely been enhanced bygrowing up with gay parents," Goldberg said.

One 33-year-old man with a lesbian mothertold Goldberg, "I feel I'm a more open, well-rounded person for havingbeen raised in a nontraditional family, and I think those that know me wouldagree. My mom opened me up to the positive impact of differences inpeople."

Children of gay parents also reportedfeeling less stymied by gender stereotypes than they would have been if raisedin straight households. That's likely because gays and lesbians tend to havemore egalitarian relationships than straight couples, Goldberg said. They'realso less wedded to rigid gender stereotypes themselves.

"Men and women felt like they were free to pursue a wide range ofinterests," Goldberg said. "Nobody was telling them, 'Oh, you can'tdo that, that's a boy thing,' or 'That's a girl thing.'"

Same-sex acceptance

If same-sex marriage does disadvantagekids in any way, it has nothing to do with their parent's gender and everythingto do with society's reaction toward the families, said Indiana Universitysociologist Brian Powell, the author of "Counted Out: Same-SexRelations and Americans' Definitions of Family" (Russell SageFoundation, 2010).

"Imagine being a child living in astate with two parents in which, legally, only one parent is allowed to betheir parent," Powell told LiveScience. "In that situation, thefamily is not seen as authentic or real by others. That would be thedisadvantage."

In her research, Goldberg has found thatmany children of gay and lesbian parents say that more acceptance of gay andlesbian families, not less, would help solve this problem.

In a study published online Jan. 11,2012, in the Journal of Marriage and Family, Goldberg interviewed another groupof 49 teenagers and young adults with gay parents and found that not one ofthem rejected the right of gays and lesbians to marry. Most cited legalbenefits as well as social acceptance.

"I was just thinking about this witha couple of friends and just was in tears thinking about how different mychildhood might have been had same-sex marriage been legalized 25 yearsago," a 23-year-old man raised by a lesbian couple told Goldberg."The cultural, legal status of same-sex couples impacts the familynarratives of same-sex families — how we see ourselves in relation to thelarger culture, whether we see ourselves as accepted or outsiders."

Link

Why Gay Parents May Be the Best Parents Pt1

2012-01-16T21:26:00.000-08:00

Gay marriage, and especially gay parenting, has been in the cross hairs inrecent days.

On Jan. 6, Republican presidentialhopeful Rick Santorum told a New Hampshire audience that children are betteroff with a father in prison than being raised in a home with lesbian parents andno father at all. And last Monday (Jan. 9), Pope Benedict called gay marriage athreat "to the future of humanity itself," citing the need forchildren to have heterosexual homes.

But research on families headed by gays and lesbiansdoesn't back up these dire assertions. In fact, in some ways, gay parents maybring talents to the table that straight parents don't.

Gay parents "tend to be moremotivated, more committed than heterosexual parents on average, because theychose to be parents," said Abbie Goldberg, a psychologist at ClarkUniversity in Massachusetts who researches gay and lesbian parenting. Gays andlesbians rarely become parents by accident, compared with an almost 50 percentaccidental pregnancy rate among heterosexuals, Goldberg said. "That translates to greatercommitment on average and more involvement."

And while research indicates that kids ofgay parentsshow few differences in achievement, mental health, social functioning andother measures, these kids may have the advantage of open-mindedness, toleranceand role models for equitable relationships, according to some research. Notonly that, but gays and lesbians are likely to provide homes for difficult-to-placechildren in the foster system, studies show. (Of course, this isn't to say thatheterosexual parents can't bring these same qualities to the parenting table.)

Adopting the neediest

Gay adoption recently caused controversy in Illinois, where CatholicCharities adoption services decided in November to cease offering servicesbecause the state refused funding unless the groups agreed not to discriminateagainst gays and lesbians. Rather than comply, Catholic Charities closed upshop.

Catholic opposition aside, research suggests that gay and lesbian parentsare actually a powerful resource for kids in need of adoption. According to a2007 report by the Williams Institute and the Urban Institute, 65,000 kids wereliving with adoptive gay parents between 2000 and 2002, with another 14,000 infoster homes headed by gays and lesbians. (There are currently more than100,000 kids in foster care in the U.S.)

An October 2011 report by Evan B.Donaldson Adoption Institute found that, of gay and lesbian adoptions at morethan 300 agencies, 10 percent of the kids placed were older than 6 — typicallya very difficult age to adopt out. About 25 percent were older than 3. Sixtypercent of gay and lesbian couples adopted across races, which is importantgiven that minority children in the foster system tend to linger. More thanhalf of the kids adopted by gays and lesbians had special needs.

The report didn't compare the adoptionpreferences of gay couples directly with those of heterosexual couples, saidauthor David Brodzinsky, research director at the Institute and co-editor of"Adoption By Lesbians and Gay Men: A New Dimension of FamilyDiversity" (Oxford University Press, 2011). But research suggests thatgays and lesbians are more likely than heterosexuals to adopt older,special-needs and minority children, he said. Part of that could be their ownpreferences, and part could be because of discrimination by adoption agenciesthat puts more difficult children with what caseworkers see as "lessdesirable" parents.

No matter how you slice it, Brodzinskytold LiveScience,gays and lesbians are highly interested in adoption as a group. The 2007 reportby the Urban Institute also found that more than half of gay men and 41percent of lesbians in the U.S. would like to adopt. That adds up to anestimated 2 million gay people who are interested in adoption. It's a hugereservoir of potential parents who could get kids out of the instability of thefoster system, Brodzinsky said.

"When you think about the 114,000 children who are freed for adoptionwho continue to live in foster care and who are not being readily adopted, thegoal is to increase the pool of available, interested and well-trainedindividuals to parent these children," Brodzinsky said.

In addition, Brodzinsky said, there'sevidence to suggest that gays and lesbians are especially accepting of openadoptions, where the child retains some contact with his or her birth parents.And the statistics bear out that birth parents often have no problem with theirkids being raised by same-sex couples, he added.

"Interestingly, we find that a smallpercentage, but enough to be noteworthy, [of birth mothers] make a consciousdecision to place with gay men, so they can be the only mother in their child'slife," Brodzinsky said.

To be continued...

Huntsman Withdrawing from GOP Presidential Race

2012-01-15T21:22:00.000-08:00

Looks like i'll be voting Libertarian Party again this year for president.

Former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman will withdraw his bid for the Republican presidential nomination, Fox News confirmed Sunday.

Huntsman is set to announce his withdrawal from the race Monday at 11:00 a.m. at the Myrtle Beach Convention Center in South Carolina, at which time he will endorse GOP candidate Mitt Romney.

After several days of discussion with his family, friends and campaign advisers, the former Obama administration Ambassador to China told aides he is ending his presidential campaign.

"Governor Huntsman was encouraged in New Hampshire, but does not want to stand in the way of the best candidate to beat Barack Obama and will endorse Romney tomorrow," an aide for Huntsman told Fox News.

Read more

Based on the article and his immediate endorsement of Romeny, it looks like Huntsman is hoping to be his VP. I don't think Romney would pick him. My guess is Romney will pick a social conservative to try and rally the social conservative base to support him in the general election against Obama.

When Christians Forgive

2012-01-14T09:45:00.000-08:00

I believe forgiveness is the centerpiece of the Christian life. Without it we can't really experience the most out of life. God has forgiven us the wrongs we've done, continue to do, and will do in the future. Jesus calls us to forgive. Even the lords prayer, the way Jesus taught us to pray, says "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." If more of us practices forgiveness, I think it would really transform the world and help to usher in the Kingdom of God. I know I am not very good at forgiveness and need to work on it.

But I think former Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbor saying the 200 inmates he pardoned was because of his Christian forgiveness is a load of bull. You can read the article but on his last night in office he pardoned 200 inmates including convicted killers, without letting any of the families know. Its become a major news story as the state Attorney General (no doubt also a Christian) has stopped the release of of the rest of the prisoners and a nationwide manhunt is now on the way to recapture those who have already been released.

First, if this was really about Christian forgiveness, why didn't he release more than 200? No doubt there are hundreds if not thousands of more prisoners who have repented or were wrongly convicted. Why didn't Barbor free them if this was all about forgiveness? Second, if he was being a good Christian as he claims, why did he wait until his last day in office? And why didn't he properly notify the authorities and families of the victims? That sounds sorta shady to me. If he is proud of his act of forgiveness then why wasn't he more forthright in the process? Didn't he take into account what releasing the prisoners would do to the families of victims?

It seems to me like he's just covering his actions with his Christianity in hope that people will leave him alone. I think that's pretty lame.

Infallible Scriptures

2012-01-08T15:50:00.000-08:00

I'm home sick today while The Fiance is down at his parents celebrating a late Christmas with some extended family. Thankfully our dog is a cuddler and has been by my side on this couch all day. Currently my Steelers are losing to my Broncos in the AFC wildcard game. Its a win-win situation since they are both "my team" but I think Pittsburgh is a better team and has a shot to go further.

Since i've had lots of time to lay around and surf around on the internet, I found this nugget:

New NIV Bible Translation States Clearer Stance on Homosexuality

Hows that infallibility thing working out? Oh, this was just a clarification and not a revision you say? So how is it that when the NIV was edited to have gender neutral language ('my brothers and sisters' instead of just 'my brothers' or 'child' instead of 'son') it was a liberalizing and perversion of Scripture? So much so that they had to call it a whole new translation: TNIV since so many Evangelicals and Fundamentalists wouldn't accept it as part of their beloved NIV. And yet when a change is made to condemn a group of people, its not really a change and all is well. It's pure hypocrisy!

When I was living the Evangelical Lifestyle © I always had trouble with the infallibility/inerrancy of Scripture. On one hand you have those who believe that every word in the modern English translation is exactly as God spoke it to those who wrote it. I mean God can do anything right? Then you have those who try to strike a balance by believing that only the original manuscripts in the Greek and Hebrew were inerrant. But practically speaking, those who take that view believe that our copies today are exactly what the originals were so by default the modern English translations are inerrant. This is the modus operandi of many Evangelicals today. Still on the other end you use reason, logic, and history which say the Bible is something special but it cannot and must not be viewed infallible and inerrant since it 1) never claims to be and 2) is subject to editing, revision, and changes as any document throughout history has been. Today's example only further supports the later point of view.

Something for the 99% to Think About

2012-01-04T23:08:00.000-08:00

Next time you hear someone talking about being the 99% send them this article from CNNMoney

The United States holds a disproportionate amount of the world's rich people.

It only takes $34,000 a year, after taxes, to be among the richest 1% in the world. That's for each person living under the same roof, including children. (So a family of four, for example, needs to make $136,000.)

So where do these lucky rich people live? As of 2005 -- the most recent data available -- about half of them, or 29 million lived in the United States, according to calculations by World Bank economist Branko Milanovic in his book The Haves and the Have-Nots.

Another four million live in Germany. The rest are mainly scattered throughout Europe, Latin America and a few Asian countries. Statistically speaking, none live in Africa, China or India despite those being some of the most populous areas of the world.

The numbers put into perspective the idea of a rapidly growing global middle class.

Sure, China and India are seeing their economies grow quickly, and along with that growth, large portions of their populations are also becoming richer. But remember, the emerging world is starting from a very low base to begin with, so its middle class is just that -- still emerging, says Milanovic.

"It doesn't seem right to define as middle class, people who would be on food stamps in the United States," Milanovic said.

The true global middle class, falls far short of owning a home, having a car in a driveway, saving for retirement and sending their kids to college. In fact, people at the world's true middle -- as defined by median income -- live on just $1,225 a year. (And, yes, Milanovic's numbers are adjusted to account for different costs of living across the globe.)

In the grand scheme of things, even the poorest 5% of Americans are better off financially than two thirds of the entire world.

Retirement

2012-01-02T18:05:00.000-08:00

I want to be retired. Seriously. But not sit around and do nothing retired. Just have more time to volunteer and do things I actually enjoy doing retired.

So I faithfully put away money each month into my retirement account like every good citizen should. But today I received my year end retirement statement. Over the 5.5 years i've had a retirement account i've earned an amazing $190 in investment returns! That's $2.88 a month that i'm earning... Luxurious retirement here I come!

Something tells me I need a new strategy... Maybe panhandling? Or maybe picking up change off the ground? I'm sure i'd make more that way

I've gotta get vested in the state teachers pension fund... Let the taxpayers of tomorrow pay for my retirement ;)

The Year of My Wedding

2012-01-01T19:21:00.000-08:00

2012 has arrived. 2011 is but a memory.

Less than 7 months from now i'll be a married man! The Fiance and I spent Thursday of this past week knocking out some more of our wedding planning. Who knew there were so many details??? It seems that details beget more details!

For example: Dessert. First we decided to have pies instead of cake. Then we had to find a bakery we liked. Once we found that we had to decide on the types of pies to have. We had to have a guesstimate of how many people will show up and figure out how many pieces to slice each pie into. Then we had to decide how many of each type of pie to have. Once that was all done I had to figure out what time in the morning they need to be ready and who will pick them up and get them to the reception site. Then we need to find out if our caterer will cut them and serve them or if we need to buy a pie serving tool. Ha! All that for dessert.

I'm not complaining because this is all FUN!

Below is the cake topper I just ordered. We are having a grooms cake since I demanded chocolate and agreed to having fruit pies so long as I could get a chocolate cake and have a gay cake topper!

On Thursday we also came closer to finalizing our guest list. There's about 120 people on the list and we're planning for around 100 or so to attend. Our save the date cards have arrived and we put the finishing touches on our invitations and ordered those on Thursday as well. I even found cute wedding stamps! Don't worry, they're "forever" since USPS will be raising its rates again in a few weeks. We also finalized our menu for dinner.

Our friend that was over last evening for New Years Eve has been to Italy about 10 times. Since that's where we're probably headed for our honeymoon she gave us lots of great tips and suggestions. At this point we're thinking we'll split time between Rome and Florence. This way we only have 2 Bed & Breakfasts to check into and we can take day trips from there to see more than we'll ever be able to take in.

We've also narrowed down our photographer options. We've found a handful that we like and now it will just come down to availability and who offers the best package at the best price. This and the honeymoon are the biggest pieces of the puzzle we have left.

Tomorrow The Fiance heads to the florist to finalize our flower arrangements and to check on some fabric. We're debating between renting table cloths or buying burlap and sewing it together to use to cover our tables.

10 Most Ridiculous Lawsuits of 2011

2011-12-31T17:59:00.000-08:00

Happy New Years Eve everyone!

The Fiance and I have a friend over and we've settled in for a nice quiet evening at home!

What a better way to end the year than being reminded of how dumb people can be :)

The top ten Most Ridiculous Lawsuits of 2011 are:

•Convict sues couple he kidnapped for not helping him evade police

•Man illegally brings gun into bar, gets injured in a fight, then sues bar for not searching him for a weapon

•Young adults sue mother for sending cards without gifts and playing favorites

•Woman disagrees with store over 80-cent refund, sues for $5 million

•Mom files suit against exclusive preschool over child's college prospects

•Man suing for age discrimination says judge in his case is too old

•Obese man sues burger joint over tight squeeze in booths

•Woman sues over movie trailer; says not enough driving in "Drive"

•Passenger's lawsuit says cruise ship went too fast and swayed from side to side

•Mother sues Chuck E. Cheese – says games encourage gambling in children

Here's to a prosperous and joyus 2012!

My House

2011-12-27T19:37:00.000-08:00

The Fiance has already put away all our Christmas decorations. The tree is chopped up out back waiting for trash day. We've put away all our Christmas presents and are in the process of deep cleaning our house. We didn't do much yesterday, which was the day after Christmas, because we reserve that day to watch all the new DVD's we received. (I completed the Transformer trilogy!)

Earlier this month I gave myself the best Christmas present I could think of. After 26 months in the house I sent in my last mortgage check. The house is officially paid off! I feel so blessed to own my home outright.

I obviously bought a house that was below my maximum price range. I've never thought it wise to buy something at the top of a persons price range. It doesn't leave flexibility in the budget for changing plans or emergencies! This isn't the perfect house but its ours and we like it. I've learned alot about what I do and don't want in a house. I don't want to have close neighbors in my next house and I do want a fireplace!

When I qualified for my home loan I had just started my current job. I qualified on only the part-time administration position. When I finally had my full load of students I discovered that I actually make more as a part time teacher for my school than I do as a part time administrator! The first few months in the house were gobbled up with repairs and buying all the things that go into moving into your own place. But afterwards the remainder of my paychecks just started sitting in my savings account earning a piddly amount of interest. It was at that point that I decided to start putting everything left over at the end of the month into paying off the mortgage.

Now here I am... FREE! There are still lots of expenses and i'm starting to get the itch for a new car but not having a mortgage payment is so freeing! As The Fiance considers quitting his job and going back to seminary next year I know that if it happens, we've put ourselves in a position to make it possible without having to live in poverty or sell the house. And that's the greatest freedom that comes from all of this. The financial freedom to do what we want with our lives without being slaves to money!